Not So Public Anymore

My blog is no longer public anymore. It can only be viewed by those that I have invited. Whether my invitation are accepted or not, it is their decision.

I don't know why I privatized my blog. It is like, suddenly I have this thought in my mind while I was sleeping one day. I just don't like when random people reads my blog. Then you may ask, then why do you want a blog for? The reason I have a blog is because I want to shout out all my happiness, problems, frustrations, yaya yada, ladida ladida...at a place, a secluded place that I trust. And my blog is the best place. Only friends I trust can view my blog. How nice right?

From now on, whenever I am happy or sad, delighted or frustrated, the first thing I'll do is to update this blog. So people can share my happiness and some not-so-happy stuff. And don't say I didn't warn you about some emo stuff. Well, I hope I won't have emo stuff to talk about because it's bad. And I hate it when I have to ruin you day.

Until then, I bid you farewell, my beloved readers. I really appreciate it when you accepted my invitation. And I am more delighted when you read my blog. THANK YOU!!! =D

Drake Part 2

this is my 6th day in Drake.

orientation was held on wednesday. it was fun. i got to know some other international students better, thanks to the games. there were a lot of international students, around 100 of us. and 38 are from malaysia. the best part is, 99% malaysians are doind actuarial science, which is what i am doing also. at times, part of me wanted to change major. but, there are too many things to consider if i want to do so. i decided to stick with what i am doing right now, and put a little more effort in it. gahhhh, hope it works.

after orientation, we had some welcome weekend activities. honestly, i skipped a lot of the activities because i stayed in my room, a lot. but i did go for some of the activities and it was fun. i want to elaborate more of this, but sadly i did not have any pictures.


actually, des moines is a very quiet and peaceful place, as well as a boring place. it is hard to find some entertainment in des moines. most of the time, i had to rely on my friend who lives nearby to give us a lift to places. we went to places like walmart(super big and quite cheap), jordan creek(i think the nicest shopping complex in iowa. i bought an ipod there and nearly, a nike running shoe) and hyvee(i went yesterday to buy some chicken and vege to make curry chicken and ginseng chicken soup, and thank god, it turned out well. of course, i wasn't the chef but at least, i helped in the rice and some cutting job. damn proud wehy. =D).

i didn't take much pictures but luckily, rachel did. i will just ask her for some nice pictures that she took around des moines later. hehehe, so stay tune...

Farewell

to my dearest readers,

yupe, i am leaving tomorrow morning. i am not going to be long-winded this time. =D

i just want to wish all of you, including my family, friends and you, my readers all the best. i am sure we will of course meet again someday.

to my better future, i say farewell and good day!!! =D

sincerely,
caroline

To You

To my dearest friend Elle,
There are thing I would like to tell,
Remember to ring my cell,
To you I say farewell.

To my dearest friend Lynda,
Who is going to Indiana,
Remember to miss me la =D,
To you I say au revoir.

I just sent them off today. Pretty emo. But the thing is, we didn't cry. Because we know, someday and somewhere in US, we are going to meet again. Goodbye, friends! =D

At This Moment

Listening to songs,
Staring at the wall.
I saw you,
Smiling back at me.

Lying on bed,
Reading a book.
I heard you,
Whispering in my ears.

Sipping coffee,
Looking out of the window.
I saw rain,
Pouring down like tears in my eyes.

Looking back at those days,
Thinking of you.
I said to myself,
Will you ever think of me too?

*This post is for entertainment purposes only. =D

EXAM DAY 1

dearest readers,

yupe, my finals has started today.

i did 2 of my papers today. 2 more to go. today's papers is not easy at all. i had a tough time during my stats paper. and tougher time in my public speaking paper. i have to admit la, i didn't study that much. but, stats paper was not as easy as what my lecturer had told me. kena tipu. >.<

ok la, i should study for my art paper tomorrow. art is never my cup of tea, but for the sake of my gpa, i have to do it! please pray for me. =D

running away!

i hate running away from problems, but i am doing it, all the times. call me a coward, but at times, i just don't know how to face people and problems, especially when they are giving me too much pressure. i don't like it!

shoot me or kill myself

i am so dead if i am unable to sell all aup ball tickets within these 4 days. so someone just kill me now because i am quite sure i won't be able to do it. seriously, i will take the responsibility on my shoulder and i will be the one to be blamed. that's so not funny.

the thing is, we really can't trust one's word, especially if one says one will get things done soon or trust one to do things. i am not trying to pinpoint anyone here. i am just trying to tell the fact.

my team and i started off well, with huge amount of bookings and with promises that sounded so good. when some started to ffk, things are not that nice anymore. some started to show me apologetic look with a million of apologies(exegerating again), which i think i still can accept. some didn't even tell me and acted cool, wth. some didn't even remember their promises, double wth. i am still being extremely patient.

my team and i then busied ourselves with other stuff, as we not only have one task. yupe, we remember taking the responsibility and we tried not to break our promises. in the end, we managed to come out with something different. see, we remember our promises. it is not that hard. it just needs a little of our heart, passion, time and commitment, which i am sure most people can offer. can you?

i still remember being in iec,when i almost met dead end when looking for candidates. it was iec members who helped me through the obstacles by promoting and finding candidates too. how i wish the same thing will happen here. i just need a miracle, a miracle to sell off all tickets!

sorry if i sounded a bit offensive, but i was just telling the truth. i might be the nice person you think i am. and at times, i think i am nice too. but i am just so annoyed now, with all these excuses. just put yourself in my situation, can you still smile your huge smile and be nice to everyone? the answer is no, i am positively 100% sure. so, i can't be nice anymore! and the best part is, i don't even care!

i can't believe i sounded so frustrated in here. i need a break. i need a shoulder to cry on. i need to pray for a miracle. i need a place to release the inner me. i need...YOU, my dearest friends!!! *hearts breaking into million pieces and sobbing inside.*

leaving

mum and dad have been very patient with me nowadays. i made a huge mistake on friday by not telling dad something important. my dad ended up calling me 7 times without me realizing. you must be thinking i am such a bad daughter. on the contrary, i have been trying very very hard to be a a good one. it just that at times when i do work, i am really into it and have no room for other things. in the end, my dad just let me off without having me giving any explanation.

i know my mum and dad are really nice to me mainly because i am leaving soon. the thought of leaving them, my family my friends always bring tears to my eyes.

to imagine myself in a land few thousand miles away from my hometown here in malaysia, i can feel the loneliness now. of course, i have a bunch of friends over there. but things will be so different there than what i thought it will be. yesterday, as i was chatting with one of my friends, this friend of mine asked me what do expect in america? i can barely answer the question. i just said i don't know what to expect. please tell me, what can i expect in the stranger land?

dearest readers,

please appreciate what you have. do things like there is no tomorrow, but only today, as today is present, a gift you must really appreciate because there is no 2 similiar todays.

i shall bid you farewell and good night.

13th the friday

ok, i know it's supposed to be friday the 13th. just trying to make things more interesting here.

instead of saying lemony's snicket's a series of unfortunate events, i should change it to friday the 13th's a series of unfortunate events.

so many things happened in just one day. it feels like i just went through 1 week. just exegerating.

i don't feel like blogging now. if you want to know more, read her and her blogs.

so long, farewell, dearest readers.

busy week ahead

dear readers,

sorry for the lack of entries. i was busy with some of the events. and and discover is in 2 more weeks time!

i will not be updating much starting from tomorrow until the end of the semester. for your information, i have a public speaking speech next monday. hmmmm, i won't disclose the topic for my speech until next monday. you just have to wait and see. =D and i have my stats test 2 next wed. i am so not prepared. so voila, there goes my weekend. =(

is it very weird nowdays for not having a bf? because when i told people that i don't have one and not looking for one, they didn't believe it. more outrageously, some even guessed that i am a les. aiyor, which part of me tells you that i am les la? except the part that i am big and fat and ugly(i just have to add this part in =D), every milimetre of me tells you that i am straight. yesh, and i am seriously telling you that i am STRAIGHT, 101%! oh gawd, i cannot believe that people actually think that i am les. i ought to get a bf soon(nahhh, just joking, too troublesome). gahhhhhhhhhhhh...

good night people and until we meet again...

i got room in drake!

beloved readers,

i just got my room and roommate assignment! i never thought i will know until mid july. but yeah, i am excited.

well, according to blueView(sounds pretty high tech, huh? but quite hard to navigate for a beginner like me. yeah, call me noob if you want to. >.<), i got a room in GK(according to some seniors, gk is one of the best dorm) and guess who's my roomies? hahahahhahah, non other than one of the kaki's, ms. rachel yong and a girl from ipoh. the best part is, we are all from malaysia. =D

i am floating in the air right now. reasons being, i opted for gk as my first choice and i got it. and i chose rachel to be my roomie. and i got it too. can't wait to tell rachel tomorrow. weeeeeeeee...

on the other hand, volleyball training is cancelled tomorrow and on the following tuesday due to some events. i am most looking forward to tuesday every week because of volleyball. and for 2 weeks, i have nothing to anticipate anymore. that's sad...

good morning, dearest readers!

i have macro-econs test 10 hours later. gahhhhh >.<

CALVIN CHONG KAI MUN! take me to 'luo ye gui gen' mtv world premiere tomorrow! i know you are not reading this, but still. so unfair, this lucky dude won the pass. i don't care, must take me.

someone just reminded me of some old, sad story yesterday. yeah, i am now in a 'saddy' mode. i predicted a long, sad day ahead.

lee hom's new song doesn't help too. i like the lyrics and the feel. but the melody sounded so 'kesian'. mum heard the song. she too felt that it is too 'cai leong'. and she actually suggested to bring over to us. whenever i think of home, i can just listen to that song and have a good cry. i guess my mum and sis will miss me the most when i leave to us later.

so yeah, enough of my pointless ramblings. i should end here. i bid you, my readers a good day ahead. keep your fingers cross for my test, will you? i just need to a good sleep now. till next time...

emo post

why oh why? why am i so blind?

you know, i made a major mistake today. oh wait, no. i actually made it since a few days ago. i can only pray that the mistake did not lead to some unwanted consequences. >.<

i don't know la. i think i am not capable enough to hold any post. currently, i am holding a few posts. but, i did not do my part well in those posts. reasons are, i am not good enough and i don't have enought time.

compared to my past experience, i have definitely grown and learnt a lot during these years. but still not good enough. and the reason i survived through the past was because of my dearests friends. during high school, i am lucky enough to have friends like wai fon, chung, ade and ai-lynn(though i don't really know ai-lynn that well until form 5 =D). they seriously helped me a lot whenever i need them. and now, i have some 'kaki's like michelle, rachel and lynda. they were always the one who helped me when i ran out of ideas or when i broke down. therefore, i would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to these people. =D

today is supposed to be a good day. but then, thanks to a lecturer of mine, i had a tough afternoon. imagine this, few days ago, you told your lecturer an idea for a project. and he applauded it for being good. and then, you showed him your project a few days later. he looked at you and asked you what was that. you were stunned. can imagine that? yupe, that's what happened to me. well, i guess it was my fault for not consulting him enough. *sigh*

i just wish there is someone for me to complain to. someone who can tahan when i emo. and someone who can tell me that everything's going to be okay. aiyor, don't need to be a guy la. i prefer a girl friend because only girls can understand girls. i am seriously very stressed. a lot of due dates have to be met. and i am just so lazy!

Blur case

haih, i don't know what's happening to me lately.

ok la, let me tell you what happened to me today.

when i came back just now, i was using connaught toll. like usual, i used my 'touch and go' card. i heard the 'beep' sound, so i was accelerating. mana tau, the palang tak nak. luckily, my kaki was fast enough to step on the brake. and then i took a look on the screen where they usually project the amount of money left. my card sudah haus and only left 40 cents! aiyor, no wonder they wouldn't let me pass the toll. and and, the best part is, dad messaged me to use the cash toll instead of the card toll this morning. i totally forgot all about it! >.<

am i just blur or what?

ooh, i totally suck in stats. i had my test this afternoon. i couldn't do without doing open book. luckily, my lecturer was good enough to let us refer to our notes. but the drawback is she will be extremely strict when marking our papers. i know i will make a lot a lot of careless mistakes. cham lor, my 25% is going down the drain. gah!

haih, i need to take a rest now. still, a long night awaits. =D

farewell

to my dearest straight hair,

thanks for being there for these 18 years. you know it's hard for me to let you go. but i did it anyway, sorry. i need a change. you should feel happy for me. i have curly hair now. don't worry buddy, i will meet you after 6 months. =D

love,
caroline


yupe, i have curly hair now. my sis said it looks nice and lala-ish. ouch! then she changed her mind, saying it makes me look like a japanese doll. ok. i get it. mum said it looks pretty. dad...oh dad, he just shook his head.

i think it looks refreshing. i mean since when i have curly hair. nil. nada. right? it has always been the simple and plain and un-taken-care straight hair, right?

ok la, i leave it for your most dependable judgement. till i meet you. =D

Sweet Valentine

Song that stuck in my head right now - Mi Amor by RBD

My blog has been dead for the past few months, so sorry. Now that I am back, I shall revive it, WTH?

I could not be much happier for the past few months. I had a trip to Hong Kong and most importantly, Hong Kong Disneyland. My friends told me they found the love of their life. I had a most unforgettable surprise birthday party and jeng jeng jeng today, I actually received my first ever Valentine's gift from my friends. Am I lucky or what? Though not as expensive as what couples received, but hey, it is the heart that matters, seriously. Laugh out loud if you want to, but this is me, I don't hope for expensive stuff. As long as you remember me, I will be soooooooo HAPPY!

I have finished my 1st tests for all my subjects and got back the results also. I am quite satisfied with them because I know I don't deserve them based on the time I used to study. I PROCRASTINATE a lot a lot a lot. Now have to work hard for my midterms and 2nd tests.

I realized that I get angry very fast when I am busy or doing other stuff. And when I got angry at my friends when they disturbed me or made fun out of me, eventually they said that I am damn 'small gas', 'dai pai', 'chi sin' or any other names you can think off. I usually don't mind if you say it in front of me. Sometimes, I will look up at you and give you that uneasy stare. Occasionally, I will look at you and laugh and reply with all sorts of nonsensical stuff. But one thing that I don't like is when somebody talk behind my back. Not to say I didn't do that, but I only did that when it is an event that has happened to me and I have nowhere to complaint. I won't purposely go to this person and starts spreading rumors or bad things about one person. Or at times, when I want to plan something out of surprise for someone, of course I cannot say out loud in front of that person, right? I not, I will not be a surprise anymore, don't ya think so? So people, if you want to talk bad about me, say it in front of me lar. I can take it, don't worry. Let me know where's my fault, and give me a chance to ponder upon my mistakes lar. =D

Enough of my ramblings, I shall stop here while I still can. Will update soon(though soon sounds subjective, I will try my best). Hope you have a nice day(date) lar. Bye!

Fingers down,
Hushy

Song of the day - E Zuo Ju(Prank) by Wang Lan Yin

PROCRASTINATION has officially taken its toll on me. My 2nd semester results in fact, is a very good example. Not that I am particularly diligent, but at least in high school, I was still motivated to study in order to get into top 10 position(once in a while), top 5 position(once in every blue moon) or top 3(once in every sun-that-rise-from-the-west). Needless to elaborate further, I think you get my point. At least, sort of getting it.

I am currently in 3rd semester, which is an extremely short semester. I am quite thrilled as this semester is only 2 months long. But, at the same time, I think this semester is quite intense, as we have to finish our syllabus in 2 months. Imagine, you have to finish reading that be-hated buku sejarah of yours in 2 months, crazy or what?

Luckily, I have taken only 2 AUP subjects, which are American History I and Principles of Accountings II, plus Malaysia Studies. I guess it won���t that hectic, right? Fortunately, I have friends in all my lectures. I have Rachel in my AH and PA, Lynda in AH and Michelle in MS. Of course, there are other friends too, but these 3s are my Kaki Gila-Together. Things are so much better if the 3 of them around with Rachel being the teaser, Lynda being the amplifier and Michelle being the random-er.

Well well, I guess I better stop here now. I have lectures tomorrow from 12 to 6. Ahhhh, it will definitely be a tiring tomorrow. I will update my bloggie some other day if I ever have time. Wish you have a pleasant night and sweet dreams yea.

P.S. Before I leave, let me enlighten you with lyric from one of my favourite song, E Zuo Ju(Prank) by a talented singer, Wang Lan Yin. This song has been in my head since like forever. And the lyrics are quite meaningful, at least for those who have encountered their crush and fell in love since. So, here goes.

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濂�杩逛��������涔�涓�涓�瀹�
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涔�璁搁����ュソ娑����

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Whatever it is...

Song of the Day - Write a Song by Shunza

I am currently in unofficial holiday mood now, half studying, half holidaying.

I just woke up about 2 hours ago. The first thing I thought of was what day is it today. Yupe, today is love-ly Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday. Then, the next day after tomorrow is loath-ly Saturday. Can I scream out loud? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Done. I will be having my first ever final examination on Saturday - LAN paper. And I am still blogging here. Come on, let me de-stress myself. This is the only place where I can do that, okay?

My college mate told me good news of her just now. Nay, I am not going to reveal her secret. She knows and I know can already lar. She is happy which makes me happy too, considering she is one of my closest in college. And please, don't waste anymore time of yours yea.

Since I have got no more things to rant about, let me just briefly tell you, a little bit of me : -

1. I am just simply unpredictable. Well, I am an aquarius-ian, what do you expect?
2. I am serious when it comes to matters like studies. But when it comes to playing, I might just be the most playful one.
3. I dislike people who lie. They can just go eat themselves up.
4. I detest people who don't give signals while on the road. If anything happens, don't blame anyone lar, blame yourself. Basic driving skill also cannot perform, go and learn your undang all over again lar.
5. I love family and friends. Though I have quite a number of friends, but there are only a few that know me well and you know who you are.
6. I love chocolate and music! Music is my life. Without music, who am I? Lee Hom's music is definitely my favourite.
7. I sing at times. And some day, I wish to perform in some kind of gig and pity those who come to hear me sing. =P
8. I have my own mood swing as well. And when I am moody, please let me be alone.
9. I hate to memorize stuff. I might love to count, but I am totally hopeless in memorizing stuff.
10. I do cry sometimes, but only when something matters to me. Don't ask me why. I am just as clueless as you.

I should be studying by now. Hopefully, I can do well in my finals. I'll pray for everyone and sincerely hope you'll doing the same as well. Happy studying and enjoy your life. =)

Fingers down,
Hushy

Just another random entry...

Song of the Day - To Be Loved by Ronan Keating

Well, sorry for not updating for like almost 3 months. Nothing has happened to me, don't worry. It's just that I don't have the mood to update. Assignments, tests, presentation... I feel so relieved because everything is almost over, well, at least my finals is just around the corner. After my finals, I can totally enjoy.

Wai Fon called yesterday to tell that me she's sick. I mean it literally, she's having high fever and sorethroat. She told me there's no one at home and therefore she called me. You know, I am glad that the first person you thought of was me. Having graduated from secondary school, I am further and further away from my bestest friends - Wai Fon, Chung Yen and of course, Ade. Memories we had together I will totally cherish until the end of my life. The 3 of you are the greatest people I've ever met. Yo perempuan Wai Fon, you better go see doctor. Hope you recover soon. And GOOD LUCK in your econs test. =D

Honestly, I have no mood to study already. Why? Don't ask me why. I scored quite low for some of my subject coursework. I need to score extremely good in my finals to actually pull up the score in order to get an 'A'. But, knowing my own ability, I seriously do not thing it's possible to do so. Therefore, I am just trying my very best...

To those who spam(in a good way) my tagboard,
Lamb - Heyyo, how are you doing? And didn't know you actually read my blog. And you still call me lollipop, haih... After my finals, I am so going to write you a long long long e-mail... wait for me....

Caramonty - Aiyor, don't give up lar... I that sui ar, until you don't want to come to my blog anymore...

Roy aka batman aka hokkien man - Oooi bro, don't spam my tagboard lar... just kidding lar, cheer up lar...

Elle - Updating updating... In the progress...

Shadow - Thanks for the compliment...

Jason - Glad that you actually like the cap...

Joey - Poke-s definitely received... =D

Wai Fon - Yesh, totally missshhhh u... =D

That's it poeple, enjoy your weekend... And happy studying!!! =P

Fingers down,
Hushy